


Horizon

by Sanemsie



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Love Confessions, Sunrises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 00:40:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanemsie/pseuds/Sanemsie
Summary: She's lost in her own thoughts again by the time a familiar voice rings through the otherwise peaceful silence.“So this is where you run off to every morning”---Charlotte and Sidney share a quiet moment and a confession or two





	Horizon

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse my utter lack of experience writing for period dramas, I just love this show SO MUCH

The days following the London fiasco have been nothing short of agonizing. 

It was foolish, she now knows, to have believed that whatever fantasy she had lived in London would have extended past a single night and into reality. Perhaps it would have saved her a lot of affliction to have realized it sooner but then her naivety would have never allowed it. Instead, she had been forced to share a carriage ride back with the very reason for her torment, all the while trying (and failing) to stop replaying Tom Parker’s words back into her thoughts. It should have been enough for her to resign herself, for her to bury whatever misplaced affection she might be harboring for Mr. Sidney Parker 

Though, still, even now, she finds her thoughts drifting back to him more often than would be proper to admit, back to just how sweetly he had smiled down at her during their dance, how utterly warm his embrace had been, the heat of his touch seeming to have left its own kind of permanent mark on her skin. 

Charlotte can’t help herself, truly---she sees him everywhere, much as she tries not to---

No matter where she looks, _ he’s there _

\---the molten emotion of his dark eyes, 

the rounded curve of his bottom lip---_ and yet _

And yet when he appears before her---when he _ actually _ appears before her--- she can hardly bear to look at him

_ He’s not yours to look at--- _ she reminds herself--- _ he doesn’t love you _

It’s _ suffocating _\--- she feels smothered by the smiles he shares with his past love, by the laughter that blooms in his chest as they stroll together through every corner of Sanditon. 

And as if the situation warranted any more cruelty, the two have been nearly inseparable since their arrival from London, so much so that Charlotte has become almost hyper aware of their presence. Of how she can usually hear Mrs.Campion before seeing her, the melodic intonation of her voice somehow preceding her elegant stride and Charlotte is thankful for that, at least, for it usually allows her enough time to turn sharply in the opposite direction

It works like a charm, on most occasions, save for the times she finds herself cornered and with no other choice than to offer the both of them a polite nod and a timid ‘good day’ 

It’s on those occasions, having felt the judgment in the older lady’s cold gaze, having not had the courage to settle her eyes upon his face---it’s on those occasions that she allows herself the relief of sobbing, crying softly once in the comforting darkness of her own room. 

Oh how foolish she is! 

and indeed she can’t help herself, can’t help but look at her reflection and see only a stupid girl blinking back--- a stupid girl that had foolishly wanted adventure and would only return home with a broken heart.

The thought makes her lip tremble, as she drifts out of her thoughts and back into the moment. She takes a calming breath, sucking on the inside of her cheek in an effort to steady the emotion that threatens to spill over the brim.

The morning welcomes her, at least, extending its first rays of yellow light like an embrace and Charlotte melts into it, a peaceful smile easing onto her features 

It's been a couple days now that she does this---slips quietly out of bed, dressing quickly before escaping out to a quiet corner of the gardens in which to watch the sun spill over the horizon. It's the only place she seems to find comfort, closing her eyes and imagining how the waves must crash into themselves at this hour, eager perhaps, to welcome a new day. 

Truly there is something magical about the horizon, where the earth seems to meet the sky and maybe it's in the impossibility of it all that she finally feels able to breathe.

She's lost in her own thoughts again by the time a familiar voice rings through the otherwise peaceful silence.

“So this is where you run off to every morning” 

It startles a quiet gasp from her and she turns to find Sidney there, standing beside her, his gaze fixed on the bursts of colors soaking into the horizon. His profile, kissed in half-light seems softer, somehow, than she’s ever seen it and she allows herself the liberty of tracing the slopes of it, cataloging every line so that she might remember it later--- or _ forever _

She doesn’t offer him anything in ways of an explanation, merley watches him watch the sky. 

They remain like that for a moment or two, sharing the first instances of daybreak before he speaks again 

“You know, If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you have been avoiding me, Miss Heywood” and where her gaze had drifted away to join his in watching the sky, it now snaps back to his profile so fast that it nearly makes her head spin. She gapes at him, not because he’s wrong, per se (because he’s _ not _), but moreso at the boldness of the accusation, an accusation which settles around them with enough tension to send her pulse hammering so loudly that she worries he may hear it even over the inherent buzz of the morning breeze. 

“I-I can_ assure you _ that is far from the truth, Mr.Parker” Charlotte says, cheeks burning with the embarrassment of finding herself so flustered in his presence again 

Sidney purses his lips at her answer, as if not entirely convinced. He doesn’t turn to look at her, though she can see his jaw work through his otherwise impassive expression. She wonders then, not for the first time since their arrival back in Sanditon, what exactly she has done to deserve such torment. Surely it is an unkindness of life to find herself here, face to face once more with the sole reason for her tears, for the source of all this confusion that has been plaguing her heart. She can’t help then but to think back to Lady Susan’s words-_ -it sounds to me as if you are in love with him. _The thought makes it way up from where she’s tried to keep it at bay and she struggles, once more, to look at him. Her eyes fall from his profile, down to where her hands are clasped nervously 

“I have merely been indisposed-” she continues, wanting to finish with the topic before the deep scarlet of her cheeks or the shaky quality of her voice can betray her thoughts 

“_ Indisposed? _” Sidney says, interrupting her excuse with a scoff “Well then perhaps you’re only indisposed when it comes to me, Miss Heywood, because I daresay you seem to be plenty well when the young Mr. Stringer comes to call on you”

Which...is not at all what she’d been expecting him to say. In reality she’s not sure _ what _ she’d been expecting. Surely not that he would follow her out here, at such hours of the morning. Surely not that he would sound so _ affected _ at the idea of her avoidance of him, at the idea of her spending time with Mr. Stringer. 

Still, the scornful clip of his tone has the effect that its always had and she feels her own temper flaring as she turns, emboldened by confrontation, to look at him 

“I know not what you insinuate, Mr. Parker, though I can assure you Mr. Stringer is a good man, he and I are-”

“You and he _ are what _?” Sidney snaps, his voice quiet, yet intense, his intention obviously set on not letting her get a full word in

Charlotte opens her mouth to answer, her temper somewhat mollified by his sudden nearness. He’s as close to her now as he’s ever been, yet it feels different, somehow.

She can smell the morning on him, the scent of it blending with his own unique smell. She can see the color of his eyes so clearly, how they seem to burn with some barely contained emotion and, if she didn’t know any better she would think he was --- 

_ No _, but it can’t be...can it? 

“Mr. Parker, are you--?”

“Jealous?” he supplies easily, the fire not extinguishing at all from his eyes and Charlotte nearly gasps because that would mean that he---

“_ Of course I’m jealous _ ” he blurts, his eyes never leaving hers “ _ like a fool _, Charlotte, I-” he pauses then, his eyes shifting away into the landscape, the furrow of his brow making him look now, for the first time since she’s known him, at least a little unsure of himself

She's still caught up in how her christian name sounds wrapped up in the deep timbre of his voice by the time she feels his palm come up to cradle her jaw.

“I can’t seem to escape you, Miss Heywood, you seem intent on being etched in everything that I do, in everywhere that I look and I-I can’t bring myself to bare the idea that you might mean the same to someone else”

Charlotte stands there, frozen in light of his confession, her gaze filled with the hopeful slant of his mouth and morninglight

“I love you Charlotte, moreso even than I thought myself capable of loving anyone”

He stands there, the sincerity of his voice falling over them like a blanket and Charlotte can scarcely believe it. It's unreal in the way all good dreams are and she raises her own palm to his face slowly, mirroring his hand on her cheek and he's smiling down at her— actually, honest-to-god smiling— and she knows that this is real, she knows that she loves him too, despite her attempts to deny it, she knows that she’d sooner disappear from this earth than to ever leave his side again

"I love you too, Mr.Parker" she whispers, and it's only the way the corners of her mouth ache at the movement that makes her realize she's smiling just as widely as he is.

Truly this much happiness cannot fit in her heart, she feels it there in her chest, beating erratically, even moreso when he bends down further so that their noses touch, his lips so close to hers that it could almost be a kiss. 

She watches his smile go impossibly softer at the edges, in a way that she is suddenly absolutely certain she will carry in her heart for as long as she lives before he finally swoops down and captures her mouth with his own

Somewhere off in the distance, the horizon smiles for them, illuminating the sky with the incandescent light of their love 


End file.
